Parenting Adolescents: Keep the Balance

By Ellen Carpenter

College of Education
Long Island University, C. W. Post Campus
September , 2010

When it comes to parents of adolescents, I think this is what will for the most part shape how a person is going to grow up into their adult years. Some people argue that adolescents need to experiment with their desires, and curiosities, while others have a totally opposite approach; neither is exactly the “right” thing to do. In both of these extremes, the adolescent will more than likely not grow up to their potential and possibly fail at certain tasks throughout life (school, relationships, friendships etc).

When a parent is too overbearing and is THE decision-maker FOR the student it inhibits the student from making their own choices and decisions later in life, which makes for a very rude awakening at an age which can sometimes be inappropriate. The parent that is viewed as a dictator usually makes a child a very maladjusted person; in my opinion, as their children are never able to do anything without approval, which causes for bigger problems later for all parties involved.

On the other hand, adolescents who are given all the freedoms in the world are not going to be much different as the child with the overbearing parent(s). The result of this type of parenting is the children think that the world revolves around them, and why wouldn’t they; they haven’t been shown any differently. These adolescents grow up to also be very maladjusted people as well, who never learned how to cope with anything, and usually try to act out for attention.
In my opinion, the “perfect” type of parenting comes somewhere in the middles of being the authoritarian, and the carefree spirit.

When there is a happy medium, the adolescent learns how to cope with everyday obstacles, learns how to make decisions, have a lesser need to act out for attention, and most importantly, they become productive members of society. I think in today’s society, more and more parents tend to take a back seat to their children’s lives for a number of different reasons, and this can be what causes so much crime, younger sexual activity ages, as well as other issues that are becoming more pronounced than they were years ago.