Growing up online—how much control should parents have?

By Ralph Miranda
College of Education
Long Island University, C. W. Post
March, 2011

I enjoyed watching Growing up Online yesterday. I thought the movie did a good job citing the issues that adolescents deal with on the internet on a daily basis. They discussed issues like cyber bullying, and websites that promote things like suicide and anorexia. The film also dedicated a large portion to how parents can get involved in monitoring what their child does on the internet.

I have made my position very clear on this issue. I believe that it is necessary for parents to know what their children are doing on the internet. If they cannot reign over their child’s internet use, they should have blocks on certain sites, or not allow their son/daughter to use the internet at all. Even thought I think parental involvement is important, the mother in Growing up Online crossed the line on what any parent should do.

The mother in the film had a very strict internet policy with her 17 year old son. She only allowed one computer in the house and it was just outside the kitchen so she would be able to keep a close eye on what he was looking at. She found out that there were pictures of her son and many other students drunk circulating on Facebook she thought that it was her “duty” as president of the Parent/Teacher organization to e-mail the parents of the senior class.

Like I’ve previously stated, I think parents need to be involved with what their children are doing on the internet, but this mother was completely out of line. Her only responsibility is to watch over her son. She might be the president of the “PSO” but that doesn’t make her the commissioner of the parent police department. Parents don’t need to hear from other parents what their child is doing; they usually aren’t that naïve, and if they don’t know they’ll find out eventually. Not only was she out of line in e-mailing the other parents, but she caused an unnecessary amount of humiliation for her son. I can’t even imagine being the high school senior whose mom was the one who told on the entire senior class.

Parental control over their adolescent’s internet use is a necessity. There are too many ways in which young men and women can get in trouble on the internet so they need their parents to guide them in proper internet use. But when parenting borders on obnoxious and embarrasses your child there is something wrong.